Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
