you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
