highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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