I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
