We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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