btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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