when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
