so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
