The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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