If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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