i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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