I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
