Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
