do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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