FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
