Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
