you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
