i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
