lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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