I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
