I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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