i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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