P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
