This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
