i was born a porn star she said
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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