Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
