meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
