I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
