I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
