I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
