not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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