I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
