He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
