she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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