you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
