i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
