Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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