Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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