His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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