U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
