My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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