I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
