Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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