You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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