then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
