Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
