the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
