I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
