..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
