dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
