he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
