I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
