I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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