Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
