In the future we'll all be gay
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
